Living With Heart Bypass

Holiday Heart Attacks

2011-11-29T11:35:00.000-08:00

Researchers have long noted a correlation between an increase in cardiac events and the Holiday season. There are many theories offered. In fact, there is an excellent article that you can find here. I found it quiet interesting that one of the main reasons for the spike is that we tend to put things off during the Holidays. Just last year I had total knee replacement surgery on December 30. It basically ruined much of the Holidays. It was the first time that we did not put up a Christmas tree. I made the decision for financial reasons. My deductible was met, but I can easily see myself putting off a nagging feeling of discomfort in my chest or some other warning sign. Is holding out for Christmas worth that being the last Christmas you will ever see.

It's Happening

2011-09-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

When I moved back to Memphis in 2006 I had a dream. I knew that there was a role for heart bypass survivors to play in the recovery of people about to face this life changing surgery. I talked to everyone that would listen. Not many would, but you know how it is when your idea is more of a passion than anything else. Over the past five years I slowly began to meet people who had been through the surgery and felt the same way I did. I finally met the greatest cardiologist in the world, Dr. Stacy Smith. She not only became my Dr., she also became an advocate. Then it all started to really come together when Methodist Hospital began to see the important role former patients could play in the recovery of their current patients. Last night I finally got to see the video which is really a dream come true for me. You can see it here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSjVgZrdr08

My Biggest Challenge

2011-09-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

I struggle with my weight. There, I said it. You would think that after all that I have been through I would control the one thing that I ought to have some control over. Sounds easy enough, but since my bypass I have seen my weight fluctuate a good 30 pounds. I even find myself thinking that with all the good meds that I am taking it really doesn't matter what I eat. I know that is crazy thinking, but that doesn't stop me from thinking that way. Unfortunately, food is something that seems to give me comfort, and the really comforting food might comfort, but it usually isn't very good for you. I plan to write a bit more about this, but right now I just wanted to admit that I have a problem.

Does Someone Else Live in Your House?

2011-07-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

As I write this I am in a hospital. I started out in the emergency room thinking that they would run a few tests and tell me that all I had was indigestion. Wasn't that what I thought six years ago? Well, I am now waiting for morning to come so I can experience my forth heart cath. As you might expect my wife is worried. I don't particularly like it, but there's not much I can do. I have tried to accept that heart disease is an ongoing part of my life. A few weeks ago my wife and I heard a psychologist give a talk where he described a marriage where one member of the couple had a chronic health issue. In his words it was like another person living in the house with the couple. When he said that Tina and I just looked at each other knowing he was right. I often feel guilty that I have brought this un-welcomed visitor to live with us. It might be heart issues or it could be other chronic illnesses like diabetes or cancer that has lived with a family for years.

I hope everything goes well tomorrow. I feel more at peace with myself than I did in 2004, but I still have so much I want to do and so many places I want to see. Most of all I want to see my grandchildren grow up and I want to grow old with my wife.

Mark Norris

2011-05-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

Mark was an espiring film maker. He seemed to be on the verge of really making it in the world of film. He died at 29 of a heart attack. People 29 don't die of heart attacks, but Mark did. Of course his parents are greaf stricken, and everyone else close to him is in shock. I found out that Mark had abnormally high colestrol levels. I am not qualified to speak about what, if anything, could have been done to prevent his death. My father was 69 when he had his bypass surgery. He seemed typical. He smoked until he was sixty and ate a Southern high fat diet. My brother was in his early fifties and was a heavy smoker when he went under the knife. I, on the other hand, was only 46 and a non-smoker when I had quadruple bypass surgery, and now I encounter a truly young man cut down as his career begins to take off. I guess the bottom line is that heart disease is just not a disease that we can not worry about until our retirement years.

Mark Norris 1982-2011

Go Tell Your Story.

2011-04-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

On Monday I got a call from the former director of the Memphis area of the Heart Association. When I served on their Advisory Council he was a real help and encouragement to me. He called to inform me that his father-in-law was hours away from heart bypass surgery, and he was nervous and really want to talk to someone who had been through the surgery. As soon as that call ended I made a call and spoke to both his father and mother-in-law. I could tell the call seemed to calm him down, and I knew that I had done some good.

All of you who have had bypass surgery have a gift to give others, and that is the gift of your story. Even if you had complications from your surgery you still have a story that can help others. I clearly remember before my bypass, now nearly six years ago, how much I wanted to talk to people how had been through it. I the years since my surgery I have had numerous opportunities to talk to people who were filled with fear, dread, apprehension, and a host of other feelings. With each one I have noticed the power of story to help them. I am sure to tell them that I am telling my story, and that there's will likely be different from mine. Even so, I watch each time I share my story how it always seems to resonate with each person in some way. This is especially true if I am able to speak with them after the surgery.

Remember. A gift is not a gift unless it is shared. Why not take the time and reach out to someone who could benifit from your story. As I have told my story to others about to go through heart bypass surgery I have been blessed myself. There is great healing power for yourself every time you reach out help another person.

Barbara Walters

2011-02-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight my wife and I watched Barbara Walter's special on the heart. I sat through most of the program just shaking my head up and down in agreement. If you watched it you know that she not only told her own story of heart valve replacement surgery, but also told the stories of several other famous people from David Letterman to President Clinton. Even though I am just a normal person I felt that I would be at ease with each person featured on the special just because there is an almost instant bond between heart survivors. We all have the scar and in a strange kind of way over time you can become almost proud of your scar. It is your badge to the world that you lived through one of the most invasive surgeries there is. There were several things pointed out on the program that I believe need to be shouted from the mountain top.

1. More than one mentioned that after open heart surgery there is no way to describe how much weakness you feel. I remember that in the beginning just getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom was exhausting.

2. Whatever you do don't ignore symptoms. This was something that President Clinton admitted doing and he also admitted that it almost cost him his life.

3. Everyone is different in the way they recover, but I really liked something that David Letterman said. He told Walters that he knew he was recovered when he no longer thought of his surgery. For me that took a long time.

4. More women die from heart disease than men. Everyone women in this country know to get a mammogram but often ignore symptoms of heart disease. I just don't think most women realize that heart disease is a women's disease ever more than it's a man's disease.

5. Tell your story. I am sorry that each one of these people had to undergo such a serious surgery, but I am so thankful that they were all willing to tell their stories. I am always encouraged with I get to tell my story or when I get to hear someone's story. Not surprisingly, Robin Williams was telling jokes about his heart valve replacement surgery just weeks later. It helps to laugh.

To Barbara Walters, I thank you for putting together a special about a topic dear to me. It was excellent and I would love to have copies of it to share with others.

Something to Live for

2010-11-22T17:14:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time. I have found that as more time gets between me and my surgery the more it becomes a distant memory. For me this is a good thing. I remember a time when that is about all that occupied my mind. In time I was able to make room in my mind for others, and that was probably the beginning of my real recovery. Since my surgery in 2005 so much has happened. I have faced other surgeries, and found out that there are operations worse than bypass surgery. In 2008 I had a total knee replacement of my right knee, and on December 30th of this year I am scheduled to have my left knee replaced. For me the difference in the pain level between TKR and bypass was tremendous. The knee surgery hurt much worse, but there were no emotional issues with the knee as their was with the heart. I have has so many surgeries that my gall bladder surgery in 2009 doesn't even count. Yes, a great deal has happened since May of 2005, but nothing compares to the birth of two beautiful grandchildren. I think only another grandparent can really understand the impact these little people have on your life. More than anything else they have given me even more reason to live well and take care of myself. Savannah and Caleb need their Pappy and he needs them. If you are about to face something as serious as bypass surgery it sure helps to remember that there are people counting on you. You really do have a lot to live for.

Large McDonald's Mocha Frappe

2010-05-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

My wife has always been slim and doesn't mind treating herself to a calorie packed dessert on occasion. Her latest favorite treat is a large McDonald's Mocha Frappe. Last night we went we out and she sad that she wanted to stop and get one and said that I could get one too. I struggle with my weight, but I have been doing well with my diet and I love those things as much as she does. We both got a large one. I knew that it had to have a hefty dose of calories, but I enjoyed every sip, that is, until I got home and actually checked the calorie count. That one drink had almost 700 calories!! I am convinced that most of us don't have a clue just how many calories are packed into the food we eat. This especially a problem when we eat out. Like I said, I knew that the drink had plenty of calories, but had no idea just how many. I try to avoid fast food, but the calorie count problem is sometimes worse at nicer restaurants. I am not a big fan of government telling us what we can eat, but it sure would be nice to know what the calorie count is when it comes to the food we eat.

Five Years Post-Op

2010-05-15T04:35:00.000-07:00

This past Thursday my wife and I were sitting on our back porch swing. She got my attention with a little poke in the ribs and ask me if I knew what day it was. In a matter of fact way I told her that it was March 13th and asked her why she wanted to know. After my answer she asked again what day it was and then the lights went off. That day marked the fifth anniversary of my bypass surgery. I couldn't believe it that I had not thought of it once. I was too busy thinking about other things. Don't get me wrong. I still think about it quiet often, but I really do go for pretty good stretches of time when I really don't think about.

I remember well the time when my whole mind was consumed with what had just happened to me. I remember thinking that my world had just fallen in around me, but as it turned out it hadn't, and I would make it. I have no idea how long I will live, but to me the most important is that I am living again. I am not thankful for the surgery instead of feeling resentment for having had to have it in the first place.

I know from reading posts on other sites that there are so many people who have just gone through the surgery and you are convinced that your life is over. Everyone's experience is different, but for most people they can and will get better. I try to enjoy everyday to the fullest. It just takes time and the willingness to take a journey that at times can be awful rough.

Bill Clinton: It Could Happen to You

2010-02-19T20:24:00.000-08:00

In Kate Dailey's blog about Bill Clinton's recent heart procedure she made clear something that anyone with coronary artery disease ought to know. Sometimes your arteries can block again no matter what you do. That, of course, doesn't mean it doesn't matter what you eat or whether you take your medicine, but the truth is President Clinton, by all accounts, had changed his lifestyle, was taking good physical care of himself, but he still had another blockage. Let's face it, some of us have heredity working against. The good news is that we are still not helpless and hopeless. I think that that Clinton's story ended well for a very simple reason. He had chest pains and he didn't ignore it. I remember well that when I went in the hospital for my bypass my diagnosis was coronary artery disease and when I was discharged that was still my diagnosis. I wish President Clinton many more years of quality life, but more importantly I wish for all of us dealing with his condition to learn from his actions. It could save our life.

Cardiac Rehab

2009-12-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

I was at an evening meeting a few days ago filled mostly with hospital folks who are making a concerted effort to improve their communication with patients and family members. Any hospital with this as a goal is to be applauded. Sitting to my left with the director of Cardiac Rehab for this hospital. As we chatted he said something that just floored me. He said that recent statistics indicated that only 13% of patients eligible to receive rehab services after bypass surgery actually go to rehab! I didn't have time have time to question him more, but I plan to. As I look back on my experience with bypass surgery without a doubt one of the most helpful things I did was rehab. It helped me regain my strength and stamina. I had people to talk to who had been through the surgery, and I got some great information from a group of caring health professionals. If you have just had your surgery or are facing it soon please talk to you doctor about cardiac rehab. I promise you it will make a difference in your recovery.

My Struggles

2009-11-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

Everyone has struggles. That is an undeniable reality of life, and after my bypass surgery several personal struggles came into clear focus. I have come to realize that I will have to deal with depression perhaps for the rest of my life. Right now I feel great, but for me it seems to linger in the background. The reason why I started this blog was because I had faced real depression after surgery and found little in the way of help, especially in the early days. I also struggle with my diet. One reason why I needed bypass surgery is that I loved the classic Southern diet. Just think of Paula Dean. I still love that kind of food. I know my diet has improved, but I am not where I would like to be. There are other struggles in my life that relate to my bypass surgery. More to come.

Heart Disease and Smoking

2009-10-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

I just finished talking to a woman who is scheduled for triple bypass and valve repair surgery next Tuesday. She is scared. I know the feeling. She is concerned about how soon she will be able to go back to work. I know that feeling too. She has so much on her mind, but at the top of her list is her continuing struggle to quit smoking. She feels guilty. She tells me how hard it is to quit. I know that non-smokers just can't understand how a person who is about to have open heart surgery can still smoke. We forget sometimes that smoking is an addiction, but I know that if she doesn't quit her long term prognosis is not good. I hope she can quit. Her life depends on it.

Ordinary Times

2009-09-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

I must apologize for being so delinquent in posting. Summer has been especially good, with the exception of gallbladder surgery. I seem to not be able to make it through a year without some kind of surgery, but it was uneventful, and easy to get over. Right now I am experiencing a great time in my life. My wife and I are just loving being grandparents. There is just so much to live for.

My message for those of you who are still struggling to find your new normal after bypass surgery is that that time will come. I wish I could show you what your new life will be like in time. Sometimes I go for days and don't even think about my heart. I think that's one reason why it has been a while since I have posted. There was a time when I thought my life as I had known it was over. I felt like and emotional and physical cripple. Today I can enjoy just plain old ordinary times. I went hunting last week. My wife and I went fishing. I played with my granddaughter. I might die tomorrow, but there is so much to live for. I know that I will always have to take medicine for my heart, and I also know that I still have coronary artery disease, but I have learned to live with it, and to not allow that reality to ruin my life. My journey continues, and right now I just love having an ordinary day.

Good Doctors

2009-07-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

I now have a general surgeon to add to my list of doctors. I needed that kind of doc last week to remove my gallbladder. That also marked the end of my New Year's resolution for 2009. I thought I would keep it simple this year. No vow to loose 25 pounds, just a goal to go through a whole year without surgery. My 90 year old mother has kept this one for each one of her 90 years. Surly I could last one stinking year without a surgery, but no not me. Even though I failed at my resolution I did find a very good doctor. There is a sense in which laymen like me don't always do a very good job at judging the quality of a doctor. but while I might be limited in my ability to offer a peer review, I can, I believe, offer a meaningful observation or two.

This whole gallbladder thing started about three weeks ago with a trip to the emergency room convinced I was having a heart attack. My cardiologist, Dr. Stacy Smith, was concerned enough to do a heart cath. The cath actually looked great which made her suspect some gut issue. Off to the GI doctor. He confirms her suspicions and sends me to Dr. Carter McDaniel. He was able to schedule the surgery quickly. It went off without a hitch, and then he did something the day after the surgery which I thought was pretty cool. He called me, not his nurse, but him. He just wanted to see how I was doing and to see if I had any questions. The call was over in less than two minutes, but I wonder how often that is done? Maybe more often than I think, but I doubt it. Like I said, I can't judge a M.D. as a peer, but I sure can tell when a doctor communicates that he or she cares, and that still matters, and it still makes up part of my definition of a good one.

Chest Tubes

2009-06-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

Even though it has been over four years now since my surgery that are some memories about the whole event that still remain fresh. I remember how strange it looked to have two rather large tubes and a wire protruding from my chest. For me the tubes were the most uncomfortable part of my post-op experience. I couldn't wait for them to come out, but I also dreaded the experience of having them removed. I had been told that it would hurt. I think it was two or three days after surgery when the nurse came in and announced to me that the time had come for the tubes to come out. She then just walked over and started pulling. The pain was intense, but short lived. As soon as those tubes were out I cannot tell you how much better I felt. This was one of many things that I wish a survivor would have told me about prior to my surgery.

Team Inspire

2009-05-18T04:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let folks know about a great website that is a fantastic place for support and information for those of us who have gone through bypass surgery. It's called Team Inspire. Anything you can do to avoid going through this alone will help you and once you visit this site you will know you have a group of kindred spirits who have been there and are ready to listen and help any way they can.

Four Years and Feeling Great

2009-05-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

If I live to Wednesday I will mark my four year anniversary. If someone would have told me four years ago that I would end up feeling this good I would have told them they were crazy. I can now look at every day as a blessing from God to be deep cherished. Yesterday I got to just stare at my beautiful three month old granddaughter. Last week I made my annual pilgrimage to Pepperdine University for their annual conference. That place has to be the most beautiful college campus in America. Life is good, and I am so glad I can say that, but today I visited a lady from my church who just found out that she will be having bypass surgery in the next day or so. Even though I have been through the surgery I still don't know how she feels, but I have a pretty good idea of what lies ahead. I hope I can be there for her and offer a bit of encouragement, and somehow communicate that things will be alright.

Pump Head

2009-04-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

As I have made clear before, I am not a doctor nor the son of a doctor. Now my grandfather on my mom's side was a Vet, but I don't guess that counts. Even though I am not an expert I can tell you what has been one of the most frustrating of my recovery. I am almost four years post op, and basically feeling pretty good, but there is one residual effect of the surgery. My cognitive abilities are noticeably lacking, or in other words my memory is shot for a 50 year old, and I am not as quick on my feet as I once was. It frustrates me to no end, and in the past I believe the dulling of some of my cognitive skills was on source of my depression.

I titled this post "Pump Head." That refers to the possible effects of the heart/lung bypass machine. Feel free to google the term and you should have enough material to read for hours. No everyone seems to be affected, but there seems to be consensus among health professionals that the issue is real and many patients are a bit less in regards to mental capacity after bypass surgery.

This is another one of those issues where I was so encouraged when I found out that I wasn't alone as I struggled to get back to something that approximated normal. In my case I started with a lass than desirable memory and it just got worse. The real problem can when I needed to think quickly on my feet. I found myself often searching words and responses that should have come quickly only to have the finally come to my mind long after the discussion was pointless.

I know there are many others out there, and I would love to hear from you. How have you coped?

Sick and Tire of Being Sick

2009-04-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

What do kidney stones have to do with coronary artery disease? Not very much I hope. It is a little past midnight and I just got home from the emergency room after suffering complications from a kidney stone attack over two weeks ago. Last Wednesday the urologist removed a small stone and inserted a stent in my right ureter. My body not being particularly thrilled with the insertion of a foreign object basically rebelled. My weekend was most unpleasant, but Monday was supposed to be great because today was the day to get that stent out. Well out it came and within three hours my ureter has swollen shut and I experienced pain that I would not wish on my worst enemy, well at least most of my worst enemies. I am no at home feeling much better, but wondering if I am just falling apart. I seem to be able to accept that reality in a much better frame of mind than I did after my heart surgery. I have said this several times on this blog, but it is so true. There is just something so different about heart surgery. I have experienced many things more physically painful than bypass surgery. Today being one of them. At this moment I feel good. I was blessed with another day albeit a painful one. I got to look at some wonderful pictures of our granddaughter. I realization that I am married to the lady who is and has become my soulmate.

Do Doctors Really Get It?

2009-04-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

My cardiologist gets it. A growing number of physicians are starting to get it, but many others seem to still be in the dark. I am talking about the depression that so often accompanies bypass surgery. Here is my simple wish. I want cardiologists and cardiovascular surgeons to talk to their patients before and after surgery about depression and for the patient and his family to be aware that the risks for depression are real, but are treatable. A bypass patient could be screened for depression while still in the hospital. In my case I ended up suffering for weeks not really knowing what was wrong. Like is so often the case my wife's strong suggestion to seek help is what caused me to take the first step which led to a visit to my family doctor and finally to the medication that I needed to help me recover from my depression. Not everyone who has bypass surgery gets depressed, but many do and unfortunately many of those that do never get the proper care for a medical condition that is just as real as coronary artery disease.

Sickness after Surgery

2009-03-23T03:56:00.000-07:00

I have been sick for about a full week. I feel fine now, but a few days ago I just felt rotten. Most people don't realize this, but a normal run of the mill sickness can drive a bypass survivor crazy. After surgery you already feel like you have narrowly escaped death so anything even a little out of the ordinary can really mess with your head. "Does this have anything to do with my heart?" is usually the first thought to pop into your mind. In time you realize that you can get sick like everyone else and that a cold doesn't mean your imminent demise. There are a lot of hurdles to get over to get back to your normal, but you can get there. I promise.

Complacency

2009-03-05T08:06:00.000-08:00

I knew it was coming, and I deserved just what I got. Over the last few months I have put on a few pounds, and yesterday was the day for my annual blood work and check-up with my cardiologist, Dr. Stacy Smith. As I approached the scales I was thinking of what I could take off and still be decent. Wallet, belt, cell phone, keys, they all weigh something and as I stepped on the scales I knew I needed all the help I could get. Those scales don't lie and they were telling me that I had slacked off, that I had become complacent. Then the nurse drew the blood and in a few minutes the numbers were there in black and white. Most were still fine, but my triglycerides were awful. Then Dr. Smith, the coolest cardiologist in the world, started talking. She would tell you that she was real nice, but in the process she let me have it. I have to go back to see her in three months and she expects me to come back lighter, as in 10 pounds lighter. She proceeded to tell me where I was heading and I heard her use the word diabetes. To say that she got my attention is a gross understatement, but to tell the truth I pretty much knew what I had done before I got the word from her. Over the last few months as I began to feel more and more like my old self I started to eat more and more like my old self. I think that one of the biggest struggles bypass survivors have is to make really lasting lifestyle changes. I remember right after my surgery I was ready to eat tuna everyday for the rest of my life. Time passes and it becomes so easy to become lax. I need to remember that I am in the middle of a never ending war with CAD, and the price of letting up could be a lost battle at the least, or worse, I could loose the war. On June 3, I will have to face Dr. Smith again. I will let you know how it turns out.

A Reason For Joy

2009-03-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

I was thinking to myself the other day that I am no longer depressed. My life is again filled with joy. If any of you are reading this who are just beginning your journey after bypass don't forget that recovery takes time, and sometimes a lot of time. I have found that when I got back to the point when I became less focused on myself and what might happen in the future, and more focused on the present the better I got. On February 17th my daughter delivered a beautiful little girl named Savannah. She is my new joy. Today is good, and I will choose to claim all that I can from this one day I have, and if blessed with a tomorrow I will do the same with that day.

The American Heart Association

2009-02-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

AIn my journey with coronary artery disease I have found a real supporter in the American Heart Association . For a long time I never really gave AHA much thought. That was before I got involved and started to find out that they were about helping people and not just about raising money. Oh, they raise money, lots of it, but it's what they have done and continue to do with the money that really got my attention. It wasn't that long ago that I found out that the heart lung machine was developed thanks in large measure to research grants from the AHA, and without that machine no bypass surgery, and without that machine I don't think I would be writing this now. That realization has helped me to get involved with the Memphis area AHA. I wish I could give them more of my money, because in a real sense I owe them my life.

Keeping Your Doctors on the Same Page

2009-01-23T07:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got a call from the office of my Family Practice Doc. I had gone there last week for a problem unrelated to my heart. In the process of the visit he ordered some blood work. The call yesterday was to inform me that my CPK was elevated and I needed to lower my dose of Crestor in half. My over all cholesterol and my LDL and HDL numbers were the best ever. But there is a problem. I am not about to change my dose of Crestor without the advise of my cardiologist, and I am still wondering why the blood work was done in the first place since I was not fasting. I am saying all of this just to illustrate that it is our responsibility to take charge of our health care. I just cannot assume that doctors communicate with one another. I also cannot assume that every test that a doctor gives is administered correctly. I love my family doctor, but I don't mind at all making sure things are done correctly.

Free Gym

2009-01-13T06:40:00.001-08:00

I was visiting someone in the hospital the other day and was standing waiting for the elevator when I noticed a sign. It was posted on the stairwell door. It simply read "Free Gym." It worked, at least for me. That day I took the stairs. Those of us who are battling CAD have got to keep moving. It's just that simple

A New Year

2009-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

I have spent a good deal of time reflecting on this past year. All in all it has been a good year. I took a group of medical folks to Ghana, West Africa. These trips continue to be so therapeutic. My wife and I had a wonderful trip out West. There really is no way to describe the Grand Canyon. Spending time with our son was a real gift. We are so proud of him. He is an officer in the Air Force and is now stationed in Minot, ND. I talked to he tonight and he mentioned that it has warmed up. The current temperature is all the way up to a balmy zero. I think that is a strong case for relativity. After the trip I had total knee replacement surgery. As I said in an earlier there was no comparison between the knee surgery and my heart bypass. My knee is getting a little bit better every day. Of all the events of this past year without a doubt the news of the coming of our first grandchild tops the list. I feel so blessed.

My biggest challenge for 2009 is going to be deal with my weight. I have put on a few pounds. Exercise and eating well is tough for me. I try not looking at this as some kind of New Resolution, but just a decision to do better. I want to live long enough to enjoy our granddaughter. I can now say with certainty that life after bypass surgery can be fantastic.

Women and Heart Disease

2008-12-18T20:58:00.000-08:00

In my journey with coronary artery disease I have been made very aware of the sometime lethal discrepancies between the diagnostic protocols used to treat men as opposed to women. The sad reality is that many women just do not receive the same level of care that men normally receive. I have been privileged to become acquainted with the woman who wrote the book on women and heart disease, From the Heart: A Woman's Guide to Living Well with Heart Disease. Kathy recently wrote an op-ed for the Memphis newspaper, The Commercial Appeal. Click here to read the article, and if you know a woman who has been through bypass surgery or any heart related issue her book is a must read.

Motivations for Heart Healthy Living

2008-12-08T23:14:00.000-08:00

The beautiful red head in the picture is my daughter, Heather, standing next to her husband, Tim. In February of next year she is due to deliver ourfirst grandchild. They know she is carrying a little girl who will be named Savannah. Knowing that she is on the way is a real motivator to me to make good lifestyle choices. I have found that the further I am removed from my surgery the more I need to be motivated to eat right and exercise. I have also found that my yet unborn granddaughter, Savannah, is proving to be a great incentive to live heart healthy. I want to be around to spoil her. I want to be around to hear her call me grandaddy, and I want to be around long enough for her to remember me for the rest of her life. I am truly a blessed person with so much to live for. Having a loving supportive family, I am convinced, is on of the main reasons why I am doing so well today. I love my family and appreciate so much what they have done to help see me through a really tough time.

Food and the Holidays

2008-12-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

Well I made it through Thanksgiving sort of. If a person is trying to eat heart healthy the holidays can be a killer. This seems especially true in the South where I live. In the South even spinach can be considered junk food. You see, in the South spinach must be "seasoned" correctly which usually involves the adding of about two tablespoons of bacon grease during the cooking process. In my path to recovery food has been a challenge. Right after surgery I was so afraid that I didn't want to eat period. I went for a full six month and had oatmeal for breakfast every day. At some point though I fell off the wagon. I remember well one day making sure that no one I knew was watching before I pulled into Wendy's for a double with french fries. I felt so guilty, but it tasted so good, and what was worse was that I didn't have a heart attach, not even a slight chest pain. What you eat can kill you but with a person with heart disease it's not like you have a food allergy. Nothing happens, in fact for me those bad foods, like deep fried catfish, taste just as good as they did before bypass surgery.

As I have encountered people like me who have had serious issues with CAD I have seen three very different reactions to food. Some go radical and totally change everything about their diet. I have a friend who is a doctor that took this route. He also rides his bike to work every day. He has lost over 50 pounds and looks great. Others make some modifications to their diet, but find sticking to those lifestyle changes to be a constant challenge. Then there are many who just eat what they ate before they knew they had a problem. Some of these make a feeble effort to change their diet with the key being feeble. From my own personal observation most people I have known who have had bypass surgery or angioplasty just don't eat right.

The sad thing is that while genetics seems to play a real role in the development of heart disease so does diet. I have a strong family history of heart disease, but I also never met a fried food that I didn't love. Eating the right kinds of food is a struggle for me, but I just cannot cease to struggle.

The Pressure for Normal

2008-11-20T18:20:00.000-08:00

Not only am I a counselor. I am also a minister, and part of your job title is doing weddings. Several months before my bypass I had agreed to perform the wedding ceremony for two wonderful couples. One of the young women had been a student of mine when I taught in a private high school. The other had been the maid of honor at my daughter's wedding. The only catch was that I was living in Knoxville and both weddings were to be in Memphis, and they were both on the same day. I got together with both couples and everything looked like it was going to work out when I found out that one wedding would be an afternoon affair and the other would be in the evening. Then my near heart attack happened followed by the surgery all exactly one four weeks before the weddings. My wife told me that she would call the two couples assuring me they would understand, which of course they would. I asked her not to call because I thought I could still do the weddings. She said I was crazy. I told her that I wanted to get back to normal as soon as possible. I still don't know why I put so much pressure on myself to "get back to normal." What happened in four weeks? I went to Memphis and performed tow wedding ceremonies. I still remember how it felt to push yourself too far. I was so exhausted, but I did it, but instead of making me feel better it actually had the opposite effect. I became consumed with getting back to normal not knowing that there was a new normal out there that I couldn't find for looking for the old normal. I hope I haven't been too confusing, but I know now that deep down I was scared that I would be viewed as some kind of cripple if I didn't do all the things I did before. There is the healing of the body, and there is a timetable for that. There is also a healing of the mind, and the timetable for that is often very different.

Depression and Heart Disease

2008-11-18T17:39:00.000-08:00

I found the following statement and recommendations only reconfirm what I have seen in my own life and the lives of many others.

Heart patients should be screened, treated for depression
Heart patients should be screened for depression — a common condition that can profoundly affect both prognosis and quality of life — according to the American Heart Association’s first scientific statement on depression and coronary heart disease.The recommendations, which are endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association, include:early and repeated screening for depression in heart patients; the use of two questions to screen patients – if depression is suspected the remaining questions are asked (9 questions total);
coordinated follow-up for both heart disease and depressive symptoms in patients who have both. “The statement was prompted by the growing body of evidence that shows a link between depression in cardiac patients and a poorer long-term outlook,” said Erika Froelicher, R.N., M.A., M.P.H., Ph.D., a professor at the University of California San Francisco, School of Nursing and Medicine and co-chair of the writing group.Dale Briggs, who experienced depression after his heart valve surgery, said the statement is welcome news. “I think it’s long overdue. It is unfortunate that some patients aren’t warned of the possibility of some depression after surgery,” he said. Experts say depressed cardiac patients have at least twice the risk of second events in the one to two years after a heart attack. Furthermore, studies have shown that more severe depression is associated with earlier and more severe second cardiac events, Froelicher said.Co-authors include J. Thomas Bigger, Jr., M.D.; James A. Blumenthal, Ph.D., ABPP.; Nancy Frasure-Smith, Ph.D.; Peter G. Kaufmann, Ph.D.; Francois Lesperance, M.D.; Daniel B. Mark, M.D., M.P.H.; David S. Sheps, M.D., M.P.H.; and C. Barr Taylor, M.D. Individual author disclosures are included on the manuscript.

Am I Depressed?

2008-11-13T16:09:00.000-08:00

I want to say up front that I am not a doctor, but I still want to share my thoughts about depression. Even though I have a master's degree in counseling I had some trouble seeing depression in myself. I knew that I did not feel emotionally well after my bypass surgery, but it was easy to label that feeling as anything but clinical depression. I never wanted to admit that I was depressed. It was OK to feel down in the dumps, but depression was for other people. I finally started to come to grips with my own depression when my wife started to make it clear to me that I just wasn't anything like my old self. My first thought was, "I guess you wouldn't feel like your old self if you had just had your chest cracked open." But she persisted, and I started to listen and then I started pulling out some of my books from graduate school. I also went on line and took a simple online screening test for depression. You can find a good one right here. I filled one out and it was off the charts. I think that, as much as anything, made me go to the doctor. Finally admitting that I was really depressed also got me talking and helped me take the first step down the road to recovery.

Happy 50th Birthday to Me!

2008-11-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

I guess I shouldn't wish myself a happy birthday, but after all that I have been through I am going to do it anyway. You see, I wasn't satisfied with quadruple bypass surgery. I have also had major neck surgery, shoulder surgery, and a right total knee replacement. My goal for my 50th year is a year without a surgery. I think that is a pretty modest goal. I will keep you posted. In all seriousness, I am so glad that I can look back on my many travails and laugh. Not because surgery is funny, but because laughing just feels good and I think it is really good for you too. I have a good friend who has fought breast cancer twice and she credits the ability to laugh in the face of the disease with her ability to beat it. I think she might have something. Wow, I actually made it through my forties.

Dealing With Your Own Mortality

2008-11-06T20:36:00.000-08:00

On Saturday I turn 50. I think that is pretty cool considering what I have been though during the last few years. I have told you about my bypass surgery, but that was only one of several surgeries that I have faced since then. I now know I am going to die. Doesn't everyone. Not really. When I was a teenager I don't think I even had a concept of dying. I don't especially like the fact of someday dying, but there is not much that I can do about it. For me that was one of the toughest parts of going through my bypass surgery. For the first time in my life a doctor, in fact two, told me that I almost died, and would have without the surgery. That kind of information kind of gets to you, at least it did me. I think part of my emotional recovery has been to learn to be at peace with the reality that I am getting older and my past is longer than my future. I think I have finally gotten to the point where I am much better at living in the present and finding the joy of a single day. In fact, today was an especially good day. I even took the time to take some pictures in my neighborhood of the beautiful fall foliage. Life is good.

Passion

2008-11-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

I have always been interested in politics, and have kept up with every presidential election since I was a kid, which means Johnson and Goldwater. This election seems different to me, and I am not talking about the potential firsts like first African-American, or first female Vice-President. I am talking about level of passion. People are voting in record numbers. People are voicing their opinions. I just hope people will behave after it's over. Passion is a funny thing though. It is pretty easy to get, but is also equally easy to loose. It really doesn't matter what the passion is. Most people loose it. Now what in the would does this have to do with bypass surgery and heart disease? More than you think. When I was cracked open over three years ago I was told all the changes I would have to make to my lifestyle, like diet and exercise. In the beginning it was easy to make those changes. The passion was there, but eventually things settle down, and the pain and fear go away, and a feeling of normalcy returns. That is when passion is hard to maintain. The sad fact is that most people that I know who have had bypass surgery have long since abandoned their special diet and the exercise bike makes a great place to hang clothes. But I do know a few, just a few, who have held on to there passion to live different lives, and their passion has paid off.

My Sister Had a Heart Attack

2008-10-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

My sister is a nurse at Methodist Hospital in Germantown, TN, a suburb of Memphis. She takes care of newborns and she is one fantastic nurse. Last week she was at the hospital doing some paperwork when she started experiencing some tightness in her chest. An observant doctor overheard her complaints and started asking a few questions. This doc had known my sister for over 20 years and also knew to take women's heart complaints seriously. In a moment the doctor told my sister that she was on her way to the ER. Judy resisted and then the doc told her that she had watched a 53 year old fellow physician drop dead of a heart attack in another hospital the previous week and she was in no mood to argue with Judy. That ended the discussion. The doctor probably saved my sister's life. I can't tell you how many women with heart disease have told me their nightmares about struggling to get a correct diagnosis. My 59 year old sister had one severe blockage. She missed out on the by-pass surgery that my brother and I both enjoyed. One stent and she was good to go. Earl Corum, our father, had by-pass surgery in 1979 at the age of 69, and now each one of his three children has had a major cardiac event. My prayer is that my sister will use this tough life experience to make some lifestyle changes. She knows she needs to, but we all know it's still tough to change life long habits. Having heart disease in your family is a bummer, but my brother, my sister, and myself have really gotten closer in the last few days. We are now officially fighting the same battle, and I think we are going to come out on top.

He Wore Five Out.

2008-10-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

"He wore five of them things out." That was the response to my question. I was talking to a retired butcher about his family. In the course of the conversation he mentiontioned his brother and the two heart attacks he had had. The first one hit when he was in his forties, back in 1988. He had bypass surgery. Just a year or so later he had the second heart attack. I then asked my friend, "When did your brother die?" He answered back, "Why he's not dead. He's going strong." I then asked him how his brother was finally doing so well. That's when he said, "He wore five of them things out." I said five what. "Treadmills," he said. It seems his brother decided to get serious,I mean real serious, about exersize after the second heart attack. I told my wife the story and she had the nerve to ask me when I was going to get serious. Could exersize be that important?

Bless Others, Bless Yourself

2008-10-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

In my three plus year journey to survive and thrive after bypass surgery I have found certain activities to be counter productive to better health. At the top of the list is isolation. I know all about extroverts and introverts, and even extroverts need some solitude, but even introverts need some contact with others. For myself I have found that there have been times when I would allow myself to become almost totally separated from the human race, and that seemed to be the time when I also allowed myself to throw my biggest pity party and begin to feel depressed. My isolation gave me the perfect opportunity to focus on all the negatives in my life, especially when it came to my health. On the other hand, when I have had meaningful interaction with others, especially in the area of service, that contact proved to be quiet therapeutic. I am often asked to visit patients who are about to undergo bypass surgery. Most people are so thankful to get a visit from a survivor, and I leave the room feeling needed and blessed that I could be of some encouragement to another person. You don't have to limit yourself to visiting people who are about to have surgery to gain this benefit. A few days ago I went with several other men from my church to start a tutoring/mentoring program at a local middle school. I was pared with a struggling sixth grader. This little fellow was not doing well in school, but was also facing a cruel world, especially for an eleven year old. His dad had just left the family and his mom was ill with some form of cancer. I could look in his eyes and see that he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. We spent more time talking about how he was coping with life than we did with homework. For that hour all of my energy was focused on another human being and how I could help him. I can remember a time a few months after my surgery when the only person who got my undivided was myself. I was self absorbed with how my heart disease had changed my life, and how I was almost certain to die a a young age. It was all about me. Getting beyond that focus contributed greatly to my recovery. Every time that I am reminded that others are fighting their own battles and and need someone to offer genuine encouragement and am given the opportunity to reach out I am lifted up. The bottom line is that often the best way to help yourself is to help another. That sounds pretty simple, and it really is.

They Don't All Look Alike

2008-10-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

On Monday I spent a good bit of my day having a Thallium Stress Test. While waiting my turn on the tredmill I spent some time talking to two other men waiting too. One looked like a heart attack waiting to happen. He was over-weight and looked out of shape, but the other guy looked like an athlete. I found out that he had been. Even played pro ball for the Vikings, mostly on the sideline, but still he made the team. That little encounter reminded me of something that I have noticed often. You can look great, but still have heart disease. I had lost 50 pounds not long before you bypass. I have seen marathon runners have heart attacks. Yes, if you are 100 pounds over-weight, smoke and drink too much you are probably going to have heart disease, but you might look like the picture of health and in reality be on the verge of problems. What both of these men did that was the right thing was they were getting checked out. Hey, why don't you get checked out?

The Bumps Along the Way

2008-09-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

One thing that I have come to realize about heart disease is that it just doesn't go away. For the rest of my life I will have to manage this disease, and for the rest of my life there will be bumps along the way. Last week I encountered a bump. My pulse rate has gone up for some reason. I am scheduled for a treadmill next Monday to find out what is going on. To be honest I am a bit mad right now, but not depressed. I am mad because I just don't like the fact that I have heart disease, and this bump probably won't be the last one. I have learned not to be depressed though because I have learned to live with heart disease. Hey, we all have to live with something.

Talking Can Be Good

2008-09-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am going to share my story with a graduate class in counseling. I have found that telling your story can be one of the most theraputic things a person can do. It's kind of like unpacking a suitcase. At first it can be difficult to tell someone that you got very depressed after surgery. I thought I would be much stronger, but I wasn't and that ok. I got through it, and I think my story can help others. Everyone has a story, and most of a time when they struggled, but got through it. Someone just might need to hear your story.

Different Kinds of Pain

2008-07-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

My mother is almost 90 years old and has never had surgery 0f any kind. I am 49 and have mine listed an an excell spread sheet. Last Monday I think I went through my most painful surgery yet, a full knee replacement. Agony is a pretty good word to describe the first few days. I had been warned, but I had been through heart bypass and several others, and I thought I was ready, but boy did that hurt, but not all pain is physical.

I think that all of us who have been through open heart surgery know that there is more to recovery than dealing with pain, and not all pain is physical. I think this most current surgery has actually reminded me how much better I am on the inside. I have always told people that the worst thing about bypass surgery is not the physical pain, for me it was the emotional pain that proved to be the greater challenge. I am hoping to post more often as I am off for a few weeks learning to use my new knee.

What Not to Eat!

2008-05-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

I was reading a friend's blog and found a picture of something I doubt I should ever eat.

Food: An Everyday Challange

2008-05-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Memorial Day. In otherwords it was a day where food was a top priority. I remember a time when I gave absolutly no thought about what I ate except whether it was good or not. I don't know how much my diet played a role in my coranary artery disease, but knowing what I put into my mouth I have to believe it played a major role. The reality was that I loved fried food and all the other things people sometimes call "artery glue." After my surgery I had to face some major lifestyle changes and food was near the top of the list. About a year post-op I was talking to a cardiac nurse who claimed that the majority of people who had bypass surgery we back to their old ways of eating within two years.

With the help of a wonderfully supportive wife, everything about my diet changed, but after three years I still have a some challanges. First, days like yesterday are tough. We had a bunch of family over and we did have grilled chicken, but we also had fresh strawberry pie, and homemade lemon ice cream made with heavy whipping cream. I know it is ok to have some of the bad stuff, but on days like yesterday and the 4th of July the challange becomes moderation. By the way, that ice cream is out of this world. I face a second challange everytime I go out to eat. I just wish there were move healthy options for folks like me. When I look at the number of fast food places and resturants in general I am amazed that there is not even more heart disease. I am not interested in becoming the food police, but I do believe that the resturant industry could do better.

Three Years to the Day

2008-05-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

My wife and I were watching some TV and she looked over at me and asked me if I knew what today was. I looked at he funny and told her it was Tuesday. She smiled and said, "It's May the 13th. It's been exactly three years." I couldn't believe it. Not that three years had passed since my bypass, but that I didn't think about it one time today until she reminded me. I remember when I thought about it all the time, but now things are different. I am back to a new normal. In a sense nothing will ever be the same, because as my wife also said, "You were given a second chance at life." I know a lot of folks think that someone who survives bypass surgery wakes up from surgery with a realization of this second chance. I guess some do, but to be honest, it has taken me a while to get to that point. Today has been a good day. Three years down and a bunch more to go!

Back and Doing Well

2008-05-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

My trip to Pepperdine exceeded all expectations. I feel great. I feel alive. I feel whole. I really wondered how my return to the place where it all seemed to have started would feel. For a long time after my bypass I spent a good deal of time wondering when I would have more problems. Every passing pain can feel like a heart attack. I no longer feel that way. I can laugh again. Three years ago my friends were joking about my constant complaining. This year we were laughing together about my past complaining. Recovery takes time. When my wife's uncle told me that I would feel like a new person, but it would take eighteen months, I didn't realize how right he was. I am a survivor.

Signs Ignored

2008-04-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

In a few hours I will be traveling to California to visit my my son, who is an officer in the Air Force, and attending a conference at Pepperdine University. I must admit that I have been experiencing some unexpected flashbacks. Three years ago I also went to Pepperdine. I didn't know it at the time, but I was trying my best to have a heart attack. I spent the whole time complaining to anyone who would listen. My friends were heartless. The actually joked about my complaining. I was having almost constant indigestion, or at least that's what I thought it was. I just assumed I was sick with some bug. I still wasn't thinking heart. If you have ever seen or been to Pepperdine you realize that it is literally built on the side of a mountain, and it is not unusual to walk up or down over 200 steps to go from one building to another. Before the end of the week I had stopped walking and started riding the shuttle bus. Again, my wonderful friends made jokes at my expense. I finally told them that when I died I would have these words inscribed on my tombstone: "See I told you I was sick." Even though I knew something was wrong, I laughed right along not having a clue that at the time I was just two weeks away from my life changing and life saving surgery. There I was walking up and down mountains with my "widow maker" over 90% blocked. I am lucky to be alive. I will explain in another post, but the realization of a genuine brush with death can often lead to depression instead of the happiness many would expect. I am excited about the trip, and am indeed thankful that when I visit this time I will walk up the steps with a strong heart and a new outlook on life.

Heart Bypass: Three Years Later (Part 2)

2008-04-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have talked to several bypass survivors who remember little about their time in ICU. For someone who forgets way more than he should I remember way more than I would like to about my time in ICU. I Clearly remember waking up and thinking that at least I was alive. I had tubes coming from holes that weren't there a few hours ago. I love the term the doctors used for my time in ICU. They called it "uneventful." I guess to the doctors my case was pretty uneventful. I came off the respirator right on schedule. They yanked the catheter out with no problem, at least for them. My skin was put back together with super glue. I am sure there is a more proper name for the stuff, but trust me. It was super glue. Thankfully, there was only a relatively small incision where they harvested the vein from my leg. The pain level was manageable. I have had kidney stones and those little things are off the pain meter. If kidney stones are a 10, and they are, then bypass surgery is about a seven. The word that always comes to mind when trying to describe the pain of bypass surgery is the word "sore."

My surgeon came in and assured me that everything went well, and he was right. I guess you could call my surgery "textbook." There were no complications. Those would come later, some much later. At that point I don't recall anyone even mentioning depression. For the moment I was just glad that I was breathing on my on.

Heart Bypass: Three years later

2008-04-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

I should have started this blog three years ago, but in retrospect I don't think I was really ready. I have been through so much and I have learned so much. Three years ago on this date I was less than a month from emergency heart bypass surgery. Three years ago I was feeling bad, but didn't really know why. I was living in Knoxville, TN, and knew something was wrong, but really never thought about my heart. I guess I should have. After all, both my older brother and late father had been through bypass surgery, but they were smokers. My brother was 52 at the time of his surgery, and my father was 69. I was only 46. I was just too young, or so I thought.

I will never forget Wednesday, May 11, 2005. I had just finished a meal at a restaurant with some work associates. I told the guys that I really didn't feel well and was going home. When I walked thru the door my wife looked from the computer and calmly let me know that she had diagnosed my problem and we would need to leave for the hospital. I didn't want to go, but she didn't express herself in the form of an option.

The hospital was close by and in the beginning I really wasn't that frightened. After all, it was my wife sending me to the hospital and not a doctor, but once there my wife's order started making a lot of sense. After the initial EKG there were obviously problems. Then off to get a heart cath. That would settle things once and for all. In the back of my mind I was convinced that after getting a couple of stints I would be as good as new. I'm not sure how long the heart cath had progressed until the cardiologist started breaking the bad news. I had too many arteries blocked and the blockages were in some bad places.

Before that Wednesday was over I knew my life was about to change forever. I now was scared. I was mad. I was basically full of just about every emotion. More than anything else the reality starting hitting me that on Friday May 13, 2005, I would undergo a surgery unlike anything I had faced before. There was no time to go home, just some time to think. A number of people came to lend support. I was glad to see most of them, but more than anything else I wanted to talk to someone who had been through what I was about experience. I had a great visit from the hospital chaplain, but when he left I kept wandering if he really had a clue. It wasn't his fault. It was just my state of mind at the time.

This is just the beginning of my story. My goal for this blog is pretty simple. I want to create a place where survivors can come to share their stories and concerns. I am not a doctor. I am a survivor, but I am also a counselor by training, and would love to put both my experiences and training out there to offer helpful support to others. I feel much better today, but there have been times in my recovery process when the depression was almost unbearable. I want to share my story to encourage others to do the same. I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

As I said, I am not a doctor, and I won't try to act like one. I am just a fellow survivor who is trying to make some lifestyle changes that will affect the length and quality of the rest of my life.